God, I am doing so horribly at being with you, acknowledging you... Help me concentrate in your word, read what you say, and hear your voice. Help be listen, help me be a friend. Your friend.
I get so frustrated reading the Bible. I know it's not supposed to just be a storybook. I love reading. When I can't sleep, it calms my mind, when I'm bored, it takes me away, and there are so many many interesting things to learn just from reading what's around. ... So, I can't seem to figure out how to enjoy reading the Bible. I think it's all the details that really don't seem relevant to me. I don't care how many cubits long the altar was; I don't really care to read through the whole lineage of David, and while the wars are kind of neat, knowing in which order all the countries were pillaged by God's command, and how many men were killed in each one doesn't really excite me. So, how do I get past these details to what's really relevant in my life. I still have not read the entire Bible, but I feel I know the gist of history in it. Does that even matter? All I care about now is that Jesus died on the cross for me, willingly, without a fight, and without guilt. Do I need to know how many churches Paul wrote to in order to have a better relationship with God? I don't know. How do I read the Bible in a way that makes me want to read more and more? Even when I was a brand new Christian, I never had that thirst, that motivation. Is it wrong of me to not care about the stuff that happened before Jesus, or even post Jesus? Do I really need more than Jesus's sinless death, the Father's endless mercy, and the Spirit's surrounding love and guidance?
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